she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
