I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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