Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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