Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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