one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
