I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize