Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
