the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
