So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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