I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize