How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
