a search helicopter?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
