before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
