I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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