just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
