More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
