I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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