Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
