My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
