I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
