Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
