i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
