If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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