Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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