We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
