We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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