So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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