rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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