I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
