Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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