the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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