oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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