Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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