I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
