is your mom at the bar?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
