Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
