oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
