We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize