You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize