Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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