I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
