I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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