Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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