Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
