Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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