You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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