So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
