Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize