why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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