I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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