were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize