There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
