She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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