he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I need moral support for this bender
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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