he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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