mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize