People with herpes should wear stickers.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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