Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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