SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
