I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
