I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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