Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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