Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
