I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize