Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
