Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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