I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
