Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
