I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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