i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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