I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
